


Courage and Lack Of It

by idiosyncraticWordsmith (literaryAspirant)



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: And Worries The People Who Care About Him, Cal Does Something Stupid Forgetting That Plot Armor Isn't Real In-Universe, Drabble, F/M, Foiled Confessions, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Maybe Not A One Shot?, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:41:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24112243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literaryAspirant/pseuds/idiosyncraticWordsmith
Summary: Cal does something courageous that is actually stupid, and now has to recover from the consequences--and help someone important to him recover from the stress he's caused. To say nothing of learn something about real courage from someone who embodies it.
Relationships: BD-1 & Cal Kestis, Cal Kestis/Merrin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 92





	Courage and Lack Of It

Cal’s senses returned to him, and the first among them was a sensation of deep pain, followed by the sound of his own groaning. He realized he was in a bed, specifically his own bed, on the _Mantis_. What he didn’t know was how he got there.

“I suppose that means you are awake?” He heard Merrin ask.

“What happened?” Cal asked.

“What is the last thing you remember happening?” Merrin asked, her voice in that specific dry tone that indicated she was unamused and trying to determine how much to sympathize and how much to chastise.

“Imperials on Bracca,” he said. “We were helping the guild’s labor strike...”

“And a squad of Purge Troopers arrived,” Merrin helped him along.

“I remember that, yeah,” Cal sighed. “Lots of electro-staffs.”

“Do you remember what you decided to do to shorten the fight?” She asked.

“Uh...” he scratched his head. Even that action sharpened his pain, as he realized he must have had broken ribs.

“You cut the cables on the scrap you were fighting on,” she said. She walked over to him now, and he could look up and see her arms crossed, her expression irritated. “You sent yourself plummeting downward on some thousand tons of scrap with a dozen Purge Troopers.”

“I don’t think I remember anything after that...” Cal admitted.

“Because you were knocked unconscious by the fall,” Merrin informed him. “You went down twenty stories of sheer fall with scrap collapsing around you.”

“I was expecting to come up with a better escape plan on the way down,” Cal told her. “Like I usually do.”

“We thought you were dead,” Merrin told him. “Cere and I had to clear the Imperials away from your body.”

“They weren’t knocked out too?” Cal asked.

“Some were,” she said, “but they had back up.”

Cal sighed. “Should’ve thought about that...”

“Among many other things,” Merrin snapped at him. “Healing stims only go so far. It was stupid of you to do such a self-destructive thing.”

“It’s not like I was _trying_ to get myself hurt.”

“But it was almost certain to happen all the same,” Merrin told him. Cal looked around, and noticed a particular absence.

“Where’s BD?” He asked.

“Damaged by the fall as well,” Merrin informed him. “Greeze is repairing him right now.”

“Is he going to be OK?” Cal asked, trying to get up, but being thwarted by the pain—and also Merrin’s hand forcing him back down, regardless of the pain such force caused him.

“Since he is apparently the only one you are concerned about,” Merrin said coldly, “I will tell you he will be.”

“Merrin, come on, he’s the one that’s hurt,” Cal tried to argue.

“Is that what you think?” Merrin asked. The hurt in her voice, much as she tried to cover it, got him to pay enough attention to realize her eyes were bloodshot.

“Merrin...” Cal said softly. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I believe you,” Merrin said. “But you did so anyway. We are survivors, Cal Kestis. We are supposed to adapt. Not throw our lives away recklessly.”

Cal nodded, placing one hand atop her own as it remained on his chest to keep him from moving. “You’re right. It was wrong of me to even take that risk.”

Merrin nodded. He could see her fighting back tears. A lot of thoughts came to his mind then. A lot of words he wanted to say. Feelings he wanted to express, assurances to give, proofs that he wouldn’t worry her like that again, that she was important to him, that BD-1 wasn’t the only one he cared about, that he cared about her too.

“Merrin...” He whispered. She knelt down to be more on level with him. He used his free hand to brush her hair back.

“Cal...” She whispered back, still bravely staving off the tears.

“ _Woo-beep!”_ Came the sudden whirring sound of a droid powering up. _“Phoo-weep woo!”_

Without warning, aside from the distant, muffled sound of Greeze’s exclamations of surprise, the sound of servos whirling and metal footsteps on the ground skittering towards them brought BD-1 into the room. Immediately the little droid hopped itself onto Cal’s bed, gently puttering up to nuzzle against him worriedly. Merrin politely backed away to allow the droid a chance to check on its friend, pulling her hand away from Cal. Cal looked at her sadly, and she looked back, the sadness in equal measure, but he could see the pain was no longer there, at least.

“I told you he would be fine,” Merrin said, clearing her eyes and smiling a comforting smile. “I will leave you two.”

“Merrin...” Cal called out, but she was already leaving, and she did not pause for him. He dropped his head back and sighed in resignation. BD cocked its head at him.

“ _Phoo?”_

“Yeah, I’m fine, buddy,” Cal said, petting the droid absentmindedly. “I just wish I was as fearless as you when it came to speaking my mind.”

“ _Boo-weep! Weep-boo wop doo!”_

“Yeah, I’d appreciate those lessons,” Cal sighed wistfully. “We’d all be better off if we were all more like you, BD...”

BD answered by nuzzling Cal more, and returning more pets in turn. Cal slowly fell back asleep to rest his injuries away, and resolved to make a point in the future of proving to Merrin how much he cared.

She deserved to know.


End file.
